When I hear the word “unpack”, my mind immediately goes to the sea of boxes and the general state of disarray that follows a household move. In my 24 years of marriage, I have moved 11 times. I would like to say that moving gets easier each time but it doesn’t; it is still a pain. But to unpack has another connotation – to analyze something into its component elements. “Loaded” comments, “pregnant” sentences and word “pictures” all provide the communicator with the opportunity to unpack what is truly meant. The difficulty comes when we assume others understand all of what we are trying to communicate.
Communication is an interesting subject. Oftentimes, the speaker thinks they are being clear, only to find out later there was a misunderstanding. In relationships, many an argument started with a loaded comment that was not fully understood. “Honey, please take out the trash” seems simple enough, but if the tone of voice and body language are communicating one thing (i.e. “I have had a difficult day and you obviously have done nothing but play video games!”) and speech communicates another (“take out trash” – no overt time frame mentioned) then problems can arise. The trash sits there until the next level of communication comes out – raising the voice. Taking a moment to unpack what is meant in the beginning would certainly help to alleviate the miscommunication!
It is interesting to see that Jesus is one who understood the importance of unpacking. When He spoke in parables, He took the time to help His listeners understand what was really implied. In the parable of the four soils, Mark 4:13 says Jesus explained what He was talking about. Jesus used loaded comments and word pictures, but also took the time to make sure His listeners understood what was been taught. Even the Son of God, however, was not immune to misunderstanding.
Speaking clearly is important. A great tool to employ is reflective listening – repeating back to the speaker what you just heard them say. As we grow in our communication skills, we will find misunderstandings getting fewer and fewer!
Blessings,
Greg Harp – Executive Director
