Children’s laughter is a delightful sound… unless it’s part of derision, mockery, or exclusion of a child from the social group. The forms of such bullying are limited only by the aggressor’s imagination. They may include humiliating remarks about the child’s body, behaviors, clothing, learning challenges or successes. The object of ridicule may be told via words or shunning that he or she is unacceptable and does not belong. Physical assault may involve actively pushing and shoving, or indirectly preventing a child or teen safe passage through hallways or neighborhoods. Bullying can include the terror of future harm if the child is caught alone.
Some adults minimize the impact of such mean-spirited social ostracism, and would say it is just a part of growing up. This is the “what does not kill me can only make me stronger” perspective. In counseling, we meet individuals of all ages whose early bullying experiences emotionally scarred them and left them with traumatic memories, depression, anxiety, negative body image, eating disorders or patterns of self injury.
What can parents do to help? Faith-based counselors and authors emphasize listening with empathy so children do not internalize shame or self-rejection, but rather move toward a solution that includes building appropriate boundaries and experiencing successful human interaction. Assertiveness without revenge, telling a school authority, and documenting the event are part of confidence building.
For additional resources, I recommend:
- No More Bullies: For Those who Wound or are Wounded – Frank Peretti, 2003
- Odd Girl Speaks Out – Rachel Simmons, 2004
- God, I Need to Talk to You about Bullying – Susan K Leigh, 2005 (English & Spanish)
- “Help! My Child Is Being Bullied”– article on CBN.com by Paul Coughlin
by Kathy Goodrich, LCSW-R
