Distorted Patterns of Thinking Assessment

Barriers to Becoming an Adult

The following list, taken from the book Changes that Heal by Dr. Henry Cloud, consists of distorted patterns of thinking that may occur when an individual is having difficulty growing up emotionally. Spend time going through these statements and check any that apply to you.

Our View of Ourselves

  1. ___ I am bad if they don’t approve of me. That proves it.
  2. ___ I am less than others.
  3. ___ I must please others to be liked.
  4. ___ I am bad if I disagree.
  5. ___ My opinions are not as good.
  6. ___ I have no right to my opinions.
  7. ___ I must get permission from others to…
  8. ___ I am bad if I fail.
  9. ___ I shouldn’t feel so sexual.
  10. ___ Sexual feelings are bad.
  11. ___ My plans will never succeed.
  12. ___ I should defer to their beliefs, even though I disagree.
  13. ___ I need someone else to manage my life. I am not capable enough.
  14. ___ If I differ, I am wrong.
  15. ___ I think they should....
  16. ___ I shouldn’t let myself feel....
  17. ___ I am better than they are.
  18. ___ My group is the right group.
  19. ___ We really have the best theology.
  20. ___ Our ministry is the only real one.
  21. ___ I know what is best for them.
  22. ___ I know better than them.
  23. ___ I could never teach him or her anything.
  24. ___ Adulthood is out of my grasp.

Our View of Others

  1. ___ They are all disapproving and critical.
  2. ___ They are better than me.
  3. ___ They will like me better if I am compliant.
  4. ___ They think that I am wrong or bad for disagreeing.
  5. ___ Their opinions are always right.
  6. ___ They will think I am bad for failing.
  7. ___ They have no weaknesses.
  8. ___ They never fail like I do.
  9. ___ ----- is easy for them.
  10. ___ Their beliefs are better than mine.
  11. ___ They know what’s best for me.
  12. ___ They never feel....
  13. ___ They know everything.
  14. ___ They are never this afraid, or mad, or sad, or....
  15. ___ They will hate me for standing up to them.

Our View of God

  1. ___ God likes for me to be nice to everyone.
  2. ___ God wants me to always defer to my authorities, never questioning.
  3. ___ God does not want me to run my own life. He wants my "leaders" to do that.
  4. ___ God disapproves of me when I fail, just as my parents disapproved.
  5. ___ God does not like me to be aggressive.
  6. ___ God does not like me to disagree with the pastor.
  7. ___ God does not allow me freedom to choose some of my own values.
  8. ___ They are all prescribed in the Bible. There are no gray areas.
  9. ___ God thinks others are more (or less) important than me.
  10. ___ God wants me to adhere to a bunch of rules.
  11. ___ God likes discipline and sacrifice more than compassion, love, and relationship.

Our View of the World

  1. ___ Competition is bad; someone always gets hurt.
  2. ___ Disagreement is bad; someone always gets hurt.
  3. ___ Conflict is bad; someone always loses.
  4. ___ There is no such thing as a "Win-win" relationship.
  5. ___ People who are people-pleasers are liked better than people who say what they think.
  6. ___ Everything has a "right answer." Especially since we have the Bible.
  7. ___ There is a right and wrong way of seeing everything. Perspective makes no difference.
  8. ___ Flexibility is license and lawlessness.
  9. ___ Sexuality is evil.
  10. ___ There is a right and a wrong way to do everything.
  11. ___ It will never work.

Scoring – for Each Section:

  • Less than 15% - Mild Distortions
  • 15 – 50% - Moderate Distortions
  • Over 50% - Severe Distortions