Live Forever: Be A Mentor
by Kathleen Elliott
Bobby was nine, from a broken home, and struggling with anger and isolation. I was twenty-eight, a VIP (Volunteer in Partnership) with Monroe County Department of Justice. We became paired together in a mentor relationship, Bobby learning socialization and life skills, and I learning about helping another by providing an ear to listen, a brain to pick, and words that gently pushed another in the right direction.
"We often forget how powerful it is when someone believes in us. That’s what mentors do and it’s what shapes lives," reports the Uncommon Individual Foundation (1). They assert that mentoring is the third most powerful relationship for influencing human behavior, after marriage and extended family. Their research also reveals that the three things people need to succeed in life are a dream, someone who believes in them, and determination.
In his book Mentoring (2) Ron Lee Davis contends that more time spent with fewer people equals greater lasting impact for God. We find this type of mentality all through the life and example of Jesus. He instructed His twelve disciples about servant hood, as he washed their feet. He educated them about prayer by praying with them and taught them that the highest command is to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and your neighbor as yourself."
Everyone can benefit from a positive mentoring relationship but there are certain qualifications you should look for when choosing a mentor for yourself. The individual should be someone you admire and trust, whose values and character qualities you wish to emulate; someone whose outlook is positive and who has a proven record of commitment to lasting relationships. This person should also be able to genuinely rejoice in your growth and achievement, rather than be threatened by your success. When you search and then find an individual who meets these requirements, invite them to spend time with you, have an agenda and use the time wisely.
Perhaps you are at a place in your own life where you are considering the possibility of God’s call for you to be a mentor. Maybe you’ve begun to ask yourself the difficult questions "What am I living for?" "What legacy am I leaving behind?" "What am I investing in?" If so, keep your eyes open for someone who might benefit from your perspective. Once the Lord guides you to the right person, begin to show an interest and ask questions. Let your relationship develop naturally as you let the mentoree see you in a variety of situations. Keep the channels of communication open and share your wisdom, your network, and yourself.
Stephen Covey believes that each of us has four universal human needs: To Live, To Love, To Learn, and To Leave a Legacy (3). If you yearn to live forever through leaving a legacy, mentoring offers a relationship where people are hungry to grow, eager to learn, and provide a visible return on your investment.
*1 "How to Be an Effective Mentor." Eric Johnson, Leadership, Spring 2000
*2. Mentoring: The Strategy of the Master, Ron Lee Davis.
*3. First Things First, Stephen Covey.